Dewey have to go to school today?
Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?
She couldn’t control her pupils!
Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with “t”.
Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.
What school supply is always tired?
Teacher: I see you missed the first day of school.
Kid: Yes, but I didn’t miss it much.
Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention?
Student: I’m paying as little attention as I can.
Teacher: James, where is your homework?
James: I ate it.
James: You said it was a piece of cake!
Teacher: Why is your homework in your father’s handwriting?
Pupil: I used his pen!
Teacher: You’ve got your shoes on the wrong feet.
Pupil: But these are the only feet I’ve got!
What’s the difference between a teacher and a steam train?
The first goes “Spit out that chewing gum immediately!” and the second goes “chew chew”!
Today my teacher yelled at me for something I didn’t do.
What was that?
What is white when its dirty and black when its clean?
Teacher: What is the most important thing you have ever learned in chemistry?
Sam: Don’t lick the spoon!